No, not The One Ring. The Grandpa Halliburton Ring. The ring that I wanted, but was never allowed to touch. The ring my dad took back when his father died. That ring on my index finger up there with the double H's. So, Halliburton. Apparently we're supposed to hate that company? I don't know as I didn't read up on it. Hate it or love it, it doesn't matter; Halliburton has no real meaning for me. My grandfather could have been a janitor and if this ring had been made, I would have wanted it. It has nothing to do with the company and everything to do with the family bond. My grandfather; during service in WWII right before starting work with the company and in the 1970s towards the end of working for Halliburton. My dad during the 1980s, when the ring was made. My grandfather was a mechanic for Halliburton for many years. Apparently you received pins after so many years of service in the company. My dad was a maker of fine jewelry. He took those two pins; gold with a ruby for 15 years and gold with a diamond for 20 years; and inlaid them into a white gold band for my grandfather and gave it to him as a gift. I dearly loved my grandfather and I love my dad and I love the fact that it was handmade by my dad's hands. That was a long time ago when I was a child when this was created by my dad with items belonging to my grandfather, for my grandfather. I do remember briefly seeing this ring when dad gave it as a gift to his father, and thinking it was cool. Fast forward to when I'm thirteen. My grandfather has just died. I don't know the particulars, whether dad asked for it specifically or whether my grandmother said, "Here", but regardless, my dad got this ring back. I barely understood death, as this was my first one. I didn't understand that dad wanting the ring away from him simply meant he just wanted his dad back. I thought he really didn't want the ring. I liked it and said so. "I'm not giving this to you!" Then over the years he would talk about this ring, saying how he hated it because he'd messed it up somehow. My dad is quite the perfectionist. Hell, he built a room in the air with one beam for support and just a fix-it book to guide him. I was thoroughly impressed, but he hated the job he did because it wasn't 100% perfect, as in looks because it's structurally sound. I never knew what was "wrong" with this ring, but to dad it was all wrong. But by my mid teens he said that when he died, I'd inherit the ring. I didn't covet the ring. I just liked the connection and was fine with my dad saying that someday it would be mine. Tonight I'm sitting in bed watching an epi of Frasier and dad comes in my room, hands me the ring, and says, "I had meant to give it to you for Christmas this year." After I took it from him and hadn't said anything, he continued with, "I know I said you were going to get this when... when I die, but I thought I'd give it to you now." I still didn't know what to say. I mean, I managed to stammer out a "Thank you"; it was heartfelt and true, but shaky, because the entire incident was just really strange. Why am I getting the ring now? The only other thing he said was, "Now, I'll tell ya. Your granddaddy didn't like the ring. I made the band too wide and he found that uncomfortable." Ah-ha! That's why it wasn't "perfect". I have no idea if grandpa wore it or not. He probably did and at dad's nagging said what he didn't care for about it. That seems like the plausible scenario. I'm thinking he wore it, but not often. And I can hear dad asking why it wasn't treasured more, with grandpa giving that answer and following up with, "You did a good job, Paul. It's a fine ring." But dad wasn't buying it. But for all I know grandpa never wore it and dad got his feelings hurt and asked him why, receiving that answer in return. It's not too wide for me though. It's just a tad too big, which is why I have my other ring; also a man's gold band made by dad, before it on the same finger. I'm sure it'll fit just fine during the warmer months. And if any of my liberal friends has something snarky to say because "it's a Halliburton ring", I'll just tell them to go fuck themselves, because like I said earlier in this post, that has absolutely nothing to do with the reason that I like this ring and wanted it for the past twenty five years, or the reason that I'll be wearing it. I'm wearing it because I loved my grandpa, I love my dad, and I love that dad made it. End of discussion. It does bother me though, that what if dad somehow subconsciously knows that he's about to die and that is the reason for giving me the ring now? That might not be the case, but what if it is? I suppose it's better to get the ring now as opposed to later, because just like dad I won't want the ring then, because I'd rather have my dad around. So, it has me slightly worried, because you never know when someone's time will be up and perhaps he has some more years yet. So, I'm just trying to recover and pick my jaw up off the floor and revel in the happiness of a lovely and personal Christmas gift that was given on the 13th anniversary of the day that my brother died; on this Boxing Day of 2018; and to simply realize that life is weird and strange, but things are fine right now and I should live in the present, even if there is a lot of symbolism wrapped up in the giving of this gift. And well, considering the whole 13 years of death and 13 years of age and today being my brothers death day... even though this post didn't start out being about him, nor did I think the ring had any connection to him, somehow dad via The Universe brought him into it. So, I have to include a photo of my brother or it would just feel wrong.
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AuthorA girl from South Mississippi who finds herself in exploration. Archives
November 2019
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