I read this article today, Try The "No Buy Challenge" To Save Money And Create Less Waste. It's really not a bad way to go, and despite all the numerous comments, most people are not already practicing this. It's basically this woman who is going to stop buying superfluous things for an entire year & she breaks it down for you if you want to try too. Most of the commenters are blahblahing about "Is this a rich person's thing, 'cause...?" | "It's called a budget." | "Everyone does this already." | "It's called being poor"; & I'm assuming that they're missing the entire point, which is to actually take a deep look at themselves and honestly admit that at least one of those things is a problem for them. Pretty much every single person that I know, or have ever known, has some sort of problem with this. I wouldn't even say it was a problem, except the person will spend all of their money on one type of item which they don't need, or a whole bunch of items they don't need and then complain about how they have no money. So, that does equate to being a problem. Even myself and the members of my family have been guilty of this. Some people run up debt on credit cards because of their certain buying addiction, or perhaps they have a good enough job with only themselves to support, or perhaps even that with not really having to pay rent. Some people have trouble making ends meet, but probably wouldn't if they stopped purchasing, in crazy bulk, the items which they think they can not live without, but certainly could. A few examples? I know people who retail therapy in craft supplies. They've got mounds and boxes and closets shoved full of the stuff; 80% - 90% of the items they'll never even see again for projects that were never even started in the first place. They won't go through those craft items and downsize, but even if they did, they'd just go back out and end up replacing it all in a month or two. Or there are the people who buy books everywhere, whether it's a retail store, specialty store, a thrift store or yard sale. They buy books in the hundreds and never read them... & continue to buy more. Or the person who buys a certain type of shoe, which isn't all that cheap, because they didn't have it growing up as a kid. They have tons of this shoe & continue to purchase more, not even wearing most of them. Or the person who plays a musical instrument of the stringed variety. Those things don't come cheap (even used) and they have six of them and continue to purchase more. The person who always spends high dollars on getting their hair dyed, cut, & styled, and the nice products to go with it. Every month or twice a month. The person who buys tons of clothes, yet doesn't wear half (or more) of them. The person who buys all the home decor that they can't even decorate their homes with because there is no space, but will continue to buy more. The person who will obtain anything from their fandom to add to their collection, even springing money monthly for a storage unit. I could go on and on, but if you don't get the picture by now, then you're not going to. What do all of these people have in common? They have no money. "I have so much credit card debt." | "I struggle to make ends meet." | "But... I budget." | "I have a low paying job." | "I don't have enough hours at my job." | "No eating out for me this month, It's going to have to be ramen!" The problem they see is that their job doesn't pay enough really, even if it's a two-person income. (Yes, there could be discussion on job structure, more paid leave, higher wages but that's for another post entirely.) But in reality, they're spending more money than they make and living beyond their means. They could live in a trailor or a rinky dink apartment or have a beater of a car... but they'll have some items that they constantly buy that add up and is cyphoning off all of their money. I've heard everything. "I can't afford anything but this trailor" yet they've got a collection of something they spend hundreds of hundreds of dollars on or they eat out a lot or they buy crazy expensive things like they'll have a huge TV and a video game system/DVD or Blu-Ray system. Well, if you didn't have that you might could save up for an apartment or a better car. I had a friend when I was a kid. Just her parents and her. Her dad drove an 18-wheeler and apparently didn't make too shabby of money, though I don't know if it was loads. They lived in this tiny, run down house and all of their stuff was kind of low cost (like the furnishing and kitchen things and stuff). They kind of reminded me of the southern version of The Conners from the telly show Rosanne. However, my friend had a CD player in the late 1980s, when those things were beyond the price range of anyone else I knew. Several hundred dollars just for the most basic CD player. Her parents had this mega sound system and TV set up in the den. Between the three of them they had at least 500 CD's. That's serious money y'all, especially for the time period. It's not like people can't live sparsely and then splurge on their favourite item/s (in the case for them, it would be music and also TV/film entertainment). However, they were constantly stating how they struggled to make ends meet, or couldn't afford to purchase a new clothes washer or dryer or a better used car from the one they had. It's all I ever heard from them, how they struggled severely with money and then the next time I'd visit, my friend would show me something new and outrageously expensive that she'd just gotten. That's when one has a problem. They were poor, they lived poor, they dressed poor (not poverty poor but way lower middle class poor - I'm serious y'all, give The Conners' kids fancy CD players and the parents a mega TV & sound systems and a bookshelf full of CD's and that was this family to a T.), they threw the word budget around, they had trouble making ends meet, yet if they hadn't sprung for hundred dollar things every month or every two weeks, they probably would have had a comfortable existence. I've lived both sides of the spectrum and really balance is key. I've lived the life where we struggle to make ends meet, but went out to eat a lot or to the movies a lot or would buy junk - craft supplies we weren't going to use, books we weren't going to read, decor items we weren't going to decorate with, etc.
I've also lived the life of practically nothing. Almost all fun and frivolity was stripped away. No trips to the movies, so purchasing of anything, no things one loved to eat. It's not really fun either way. It sometimes seems fun, or it does in the moment for this retail therapy... until you realize that you now don't have money for something else that's more important or that item fills you with shame or dread or a general bummer feeling because why did you even buy it and now the money is wasted. Or you eat out so much that it's just a boring routine and there is no fun in it. However going completely without is absolutely terrible. I love going to the movies, but I haven't seen a movie in the theatre in three years. It'd be different if I'd decided to stop going to the movies, but I simply can't afford it, so lack of money has forced it and I lament. I've been subsisting on hot dogs and crackers and anything else that's cheep and not all that enjoyable. It's rare when something like chocolate or a fancy cheese or a meal out or even fruit other than Red Delicious Apples (which to me are mealy and gross) passes through this house. However, when it does, it's like frickin' Christmas, y'all! It's not taken for granted and it's like the happiest day of the year to have something of the good stuff; the things we really love and miss. It's taught me the things that I really love and do need for comfort and happiness, and the things that didn't bring me happiness before. I'd rather live modestly and occasionally splurge on some good chocolate (& I don't mean super expensive chocolates that I can't even buy here, but like a bar of dark chocolate; real chocolate), as opposed to always buying fake chocolate like Kit Kats or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup miniatures. Not that those aren't good. But why always buy those when they actually weren't fulfilling anything in me. A bag of that was not happiness. A single Kit Kat bar in one year though? That is happiness. Or a real chocolate bar that's dark three or four times a year? That is also happiness, for me. That's just a random example from my own personal life. It might not be that for you. I used to be a book buyer as well. I don't know why since I've always loved the library and our library is really good about getting all sorts of books in. Yet, I would buy brand new books like they were air (as well as buying them other places). I still love books, but about ten or so years ago, I felt like I was being suffocated by them. I stopped buying so many books. I started getting rid of books (gifts, donation to the library, donations to Little Free Libraries, donations to thrift stores, selling them at my yard sales). I always thought I'd never get rid of a book, but I found it freeing and more happy than owning all the books. Then I stopped buying brand new books all together, and gradually became way more choosy at thrift stores and yard sales. Most times I purchase very small amounts of books to be gifts for other people. I might walk away with one. In the past, I never walked away from any type of book sale without at least one. Now, I might only purchase one at every ten book sales I go to. Also I became very choosy in books that I owned, had read, and decided to keep. I was doing to "sparks joy" bit before Marie Kondo came on the scene. The books didn't make me happy while reading them, so I didn't want them on my shelves so that every time I looked at my shelf I'd see possible great world, then a world I loved, with a lot of terrible books in the mix (now my mood is lowered). I had a lot of terrible books on my shelf and I hated looking at my books. Why was I keeping them? I, of course, won't throw away a book or burn it, but why was I of the mind-set that it was a horrible thing to pass a book on to somewhere else? (It's how I was raised, and was not a very good practice to implement). So now my shelves are nothing but possible great worlds and worlds I love. I have books that I haven't read yet, but about 10 out 50 - 70 books, which is not bad at all. If the book really was bad in whatever way and I don't know anyone personally who would enjoy it it gets donated or sold at a yard sale. However, there have been several books that were in nice shape and while they weren't for me, I did know someone who would probably like it, so those books became gifts. And I've been utilizing my library a lot more. Just this year I've chequed out and read 10 (of the 15) books I've read this year. Two of those books were gifts to me, one was a gift (from a library sale) for someone else, and two were re-reads of books that I own. I even made a deal with myself that if I read a book (they're mainly from the library, but occasionally borrowed from friends) and I absolutely loved it, I'd put in on my to-buy list. Most of the books are good for the moment, but aren't anything I'd own. Some have even been downright terrible. I've read over 50 books (counting book series as one item) over the past few years and there's only three that made the list of books I would like to own. The Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer (I own the first and seventh books, both gifts & have chequed the series out from the library twice!), The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (borrowed from a friend), & The True Blue Scouts of Sugarman Swamp by Kathi Appelt (a library cheque out). All three of them are children's books, I might add. And while they're on the list, I'm not in any big hurry to own them. They can wait. I will say though that this lack of funds business has hit clothes the hardest. I was never one to purchase loads of clothes, because I'm a big girl and even at a store that caters to big girls I always had the hardest time finding things that fit properly. Plus, while my mom and sister had a clothing problem, spending all the money on new clothes and accessories, there was never really any money left to spare for me most times. I've always been used to hand-me-downs or wearing my clothes until they fall off of my body. However, as an almost 39 year old woman, I would like some clothes that aren't falling apart. I don't need a lot of clothes, as I've never been privy to that so wouldn't know what to do with a lot of clothes anyways, but I do need a few items and some of my things simply can't be repaired anymore. There's also some great advantages to recycling/upcycling. I've been doing this in some form or fashion my entire life because it was taught to me by my parents. I've noticed that a lot of southerns do this in some way because of poverty roots. That's why my dad learned some of these things, from his parents that grew up in poverty. I think my mom's parents were just so old that that's what you did (they were born in 1898 and 1909 - she was adopted, it's a long story) because they were not southerners. However it can go too far. Growing up I had to eat a lot of gross things. You might think I'm being a picky person, but we'd eat lettuce that was basically rotten. Wash the slimy off, pick off the bad parts, consume. We'd do it with bread too. Pick off the mold and eat the bread that's left. I wouldn't suggest for anyone to live like this as I think it's a far cry from healthy or happy. My sister worked for a character actress once. She'd grown up in the south and a lot of things like this she distanced herself from. Hard. Taking it from one extreme to the other. If her lettuce turned brown, she'd chuck it. She couldn't bring herself to salvage. But it hadn't even gotten to the slimy stage yet and so, the story struck me as waste, yet I could also see her point. I will never eat rotten lettuce again either. There's also the ridiculousness of margarine tubs uses for all sorts of leftovers. It's something a lot of southerners do. Why buy Tupperware, when you can re-use something and that item now has multiple uses? It started out as a tub holding margarine. Now it's Tupperware instead of being chucked into the trash. I'm cool with recycling things like this, but it gets out of hand if you have 20 of the same containers in the fridge and you don't know what is what. Or scraps of fabric are also a big recycling item. Most southerners won't throw that away. I don't throw our scraps away either. I can use them, and unlike most southerners that I know, will actually use it. That's the thing. Don't recycle and save for "what if's" or "somedays" to where the recycled items are sitting around collecting dust and taking over your house. Balance, y'all. We have one container for all scraps. It is not a large, plastic storage container, but a small one; the size of a shoe box. If we end up with scraps and the box is full it's time to go through the box, but this doesn't happen a lot, because we don't do enough cutting to get enough scraps to warrant a go through on a regular basis. Perhaps once a year (once every two years). But the scraps are there and have been used in origami projects, tree weaving projects, sewing additions to other larger pieces like pillows, collaging, paintings, etc. We aren't just throwing them away to fill up a land-fill, but are repurposing them. We probably wouldn't be doing that if we hadn't of grown up in the south with the poor mentality passed down through generations. It's actually helpful for us and the environment. We're not spending money at the store for yards of fabric or packaged squares of it, we purchase (rarely) at yard sales or inherited a lot from our maternal grandmother. We get to use vintage pieces of fabrics that are no longer made. We're not causing factories to utilize dyes and energy and resources to create new fabrics for us to purchase. Not that one can't purchase new fabrics, but that's a much larger foot print to constantly be buying new fabrics, when you can purchase older ones (with the purchase or use of older ones having no new consequences on the environment). And we use every bit of that fabric that we have that is actually usable and salvageable for a wide variety of things as I've stated above. Waste not, want not is a good saying. It can be taken too far (like eating slimy lettuce or scraping mold off of leftovers), but it can do some good like using up fabric remnants for other things instead of just throwing them away. I also believe that Quality over Quantity is an excellent saying too. It doesn't mean you have to buy haute couture or the most expensive fancy cheeses, but let's take ice cream for instance. No one in my family enjoys really cheap vanilla ice cream. It doesn't taste good. But to my dad that's a better purchase in a ginormous tub than $2.40 for the smaller carton of Great Value ice cream (it's not the square cardboard carton, though some of those cheap brands make a delicious chocolate or even chocolate chip, but I mean the oblong cardboard tub that is the same size as what Bryers sales). The ice cream tastes good and that is not a bad price at all. I want to choose Quality over Quantity. Dad wants to purchase the other way around. I've calculated the numbers and dad's quantity over quality method actually costs him more money in the long run, most of the time. Mainly by purchasing lower quality items that don't taste good and then rot before he, alone, can consume them. Some cheaper items are good tasting or good for use (like cleaning products), but some are not. Dad will buy the cheapest cleaning item when sent to the store. My mom would want to buy the most expensive. Like laundry detergent. Dad would come home with Sun while mom would buy Tide. Tide works. Yeah it's great. But I can't fathom spending $16 dollars on laundry detergent when the $6 - $7 Purex or Whisk actually lasts just as along and smells and cleans just as well. Sun and the other very cheap brands always left our clothes smelly like we'd run them briefly under cold water and then let them dry. They smelled like dog butt sweat funk for lack of any nicer terms. Mom was always a big believer in fabric softeners and The Sister loves them too. They're actually not that good for the environment and are just luxurious and not really needed. The cheap ones aren't worth the money. Actually if you just buy a $2.00 gallon of white vinegar and use a little of that in the fabric softener compartment of your washer, it'll do the same thing and isn't bad for the environment (also your towels and sheets won't smell like vinegar when they're dried... at all.) As for food. Off brand Oreo's and Doritos are rubbish. But off brand tortilla chips, Frito's or even Ruffles (or sour cream and cheddar Ruffles - yes I like those) are delicious. Off brand Pizza Rolls or Taquito's are gross. Cheetos (off brand or not) are pretty much the same, but I'm also not a huge fan of those. Basic cheeses are pretty much all good. I'm not talking American. There are difference in American cheeses (I suppose the quality), but I detest American. But if you want Meunster, Swiss, Cheddar, Colby, or whatever that's in the regular cheese section (not the fancy, imported cheese section). It's all the same. Grab the cheap mozzarella or the cheap block of cheddar. It tastes pretty much the same as the other cheddar sitting next to it that is a name brand. I've tried A LOT of cheese in my lifetime. I LOVE cheese, so while junk food may be a personal taste (or more than likely an acquired taste) if you really love those off-brand Oreo's, go for it. But as for cheeses, unless you like the sweet tang of a farm house cheddar (you can't get the store brand block, because they don't make it), any cheddar that you like (I prefer sharp or extra sharp), the store brand will taste the same as Tillamook or Cracker Barrel or Kraft or whatever. Although I'd basically leave Kraft off the list as I find that their things are gross; their cheeses, mayonnaise, ect. I don't like most Kraft foods. I've not found much pleasure in Bordon cheese either, but to each his own, I suppose. And if, like me, you ADORE fancy cheeses, just splurge on one occasionally. Like one to three times a year or whatever, not once or twice (or more) a month. I'm just saying I agree with this lady. But, first you have to take a hard, honest look at yourself. If you don't, you'll be one of those commenters whose arguing and that's getting you nowhere. It's not like you have to cut out everything that you know is a problem or even cut it out completely. But if you lessen it, you'll find that less really is more and quite fulfilling and you're not denying it completely, but you're also not letting it run and overtake your life. Try a thing, like really and honestly try a thing before you bark about how ludicrous it is. You don't know, as you haven't actually tried it. If after giving it an honest go you'll find what works for you and complaining that something is rubbish won't even matter to you. I've already lived both sides so I can say what it's like from my experience. I know what works for me. I know that I do not need to see full priced, non-matinee films multiple times a week every week to be happy. But I've realized that never seeing a film in the theatre leaves me longing for that happy. So, in a perfect world, I should see at least two films in the theatre a year. Even before we stopped going all together, we'd started limiting ourselves. Only matinee films, mainly only on Super Saver Tuesdays, & only films we felt we couldn't live without seeing on the big screen (instead of just any old thing). The Sister and I were already used to sharing concessions (those are a must for the full and happy experience for us), so we always shared a large coke and a large popcorn (not butter); with us switching off as to who bought which item each time. By the end we were down to sharing a medium on each. A medium was just fine. So were those small film watching adjustments. How would I have known, if I'd just kept doing what we'd always done? So, go see a film I really, really, really, really want to see, matinee (possibly Super Saver Tuesday, if they still do that), at least twice a year, splitting medium concessions with The Sister. If I want to really splurge, we can watch one film we really want to see at a night time showing! Ooh! Exciting! No really, it's probably been ten years since I've been to a night showing of anything. That was Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2 midnight showing if anyone is curious. I know why we do some of the things we do. At least personally, but I think it is probably true for others. It's because of childhood. Dad was really big into going to the movies. He always went to the movies as a kid with his friends. He always bought concessions. While mom went to the movies, she didn't go nearly as much and never bought concessions (or rarely). So when I was growing up, dad had to go to the movies. It was happy for him. So, of course we all went to the movies because we're his family. Concessions were always purchased with mom and dad sharing and The Sister and I sharing. We'd go constantly, 2 - 8 times a month depending on what was playing. That would be several months in a row. Then we wouldn't go anymore. It was a money thing. If dad had money we'd go to the movies like we owned stock in them. When he didn't, then we stopped going. But it was a lot of movie going experiences for this family and happy times. Growing up I thought everyone was like this. I later came to find out that some people detest the movie going experience or that they never, ever purchase concessions. If they talk more I always found several factors. If they detest going to the movies (hate the whole experience) they either never went to the movies as a kid, went rarely, or had a bad experience once (or even a combination of the last two). If they enjoy going to the movies, but never guy concessions, they went to the movies often as a kid, but their parents never bought concessions; and you further learn that they simply either don't put food and movies together, or else their parents would sneak food in from outside and that is what they still do. It seems that most people go to the movies the way they did growing up, however that might be... and I'm thinking it extends to most aspects of ones life, even beyond the whole movie going experience. If one was used to grandma's fridge being full of "free Tupperware" and you never knew what was leftovers or what was margarine, you're more apt to adopt that same ritual in your own life once you're grown. You find it comforting and it's just what you do. I was not as used to this having only one person (one grandparent, not even my own parents) doing this. I didn't have friends whose parents did this (possibly just one). I found it frustrating at my grandmothers house and don't find nostalgic joy in it. My dad, however, while never implementing this when I was growing up, lost his mother several years ago and now he wants to fill the entire house with old plastic food containers. He's missing his mother, so is latching onto something that reminds him of her, but something which he never cared two hoots about for the other sixty six years of his life. Sometimes I even wonder about foods and their emotional effect on us since childhood. I have a friend who grew up on government cheese. He says it's gross, but sometimes he just wants to eat it and does. I think it's because it's a taste that formed his childhood and sometimes one just misses that. There are things I ate as a kid, where they're not necessarily gross though I don't eat them now, but sometimes I just want that particular taste. And it does bring a small burst of nostalgic joy to consume that again. Like orange push pops. It's not something I'm drawn to (and sherbet is pretty good), but sometimes I just really want an orange push pop because the taste will bring back memories of time with my maternal grandmother and walking to the store simply to purchase one. I think also things are just trained in us, so it's not like we have a good memory or we miss the taste, but this is what was served so this is what you ate and you simply continue to follow the motions of what was instilled in you, never actually deciding if it's a thing you actually like or not. Reminds me of the film Runaway Bride. The only thing I even liked about that movie was where she decides to think for herself and actually figure out which type of egg she liked (if she even liked eggs at all). I don't remember her outcome, but I remember watching it and thinking, "Man... you know, I don't know what type of eggs I like!" So, I did set out on a mission to try eggs and figure out what I liked. I might not have even had this problem or had that scene resonate with me, except I'd been questioning scrambled eggs my entire life. I'd come to realize, after learning my egg types, that my mother can not make scrambled eggs. She'd taught me to scramble them together with milk in a bowl, then scramble them to death in the skillet so you had unseasoned lumps of egg that looked like you were going to eat cottage cheese. I did like scrambled eggs though, because they'd make them at sleep away Girl Scout camp, breakfast buffets we'd eat at while traveling, or the jaunts to Shoney's for their breakfast buffet or eating at Waffle House. My maternal grandmother made the best scrambled eggs and my paternal grandfathers were pretty good. Restaurants in hotels that served breakfast had pretty good one's too. Growing up, obviously, I didn't know why there were differences and would call the best one's "fancy restaurant eggs". I now know that everyone (except my mother) were making scrambled eggs the same way, it's just that some were slightly less cooked than others. My grandmother and the hotel restaurants had the less cooked variety, so a Soft Scramble, which is what I prefer. The white is not goopy, but the eggs are fluffy yet moist looking. Everyone else were cooking the eggs the same way, just letting them cook slightly longer, so a Hard Scramble, which is pretty good. I think my mom might have been going for a "Perfect" Scramble, but hers didn't look nearly as appetizing (and I'm sure the real ones taste MUCH better). I also like fried eggs with a runny yolk, but will still enjoy them if everything is solid. Definitely NOT Sunny Side Up. But between Over Easy and Over Medium. When I say "will still enjoy them if everything is solid", just means you've cooked the Over Medium longer because it's definitely NOT Over Hard. I never liked hard boiled eggs nor deviled eggs. I tried them again anyway during this pursuit and no, I still detest them. I actually should try soft boiled, as I have not and that actually looks pretty good. I do not mind poached eggs and I do enjoy Eggs Benedict. I have tried Baked Eggs and if they're not overcooked, they're really good. This post is getting long. But it is good to come out of your comfort zone. You don't have to explode out of it, but taking short jaunts actually tells you more about yourself. Are you just following things you were taught growing up? Is this really what you want/like? What are your personal limits? What is too much for you where the thing becomes mundane routine and what is the least before your personal happiness is actually challenged? You'll never know unless you test those boundaries, unless you actually try the eggs to see which ones you like or even if you like eggs at all.
6 Comments
12/20/2022 08:45:58 pm
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1/8/2023 01:26:56 am
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6/29/2023 09:49:54 pm
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