So, I've been trying to watch The Motorbike Show, like ya do. Yes, there may be a slight ulterior motive, but I do enjoy motorbikes, or motorcycles as their called stateside really, and I was keen to watch it anyways.
So, motorbikes, fuck yeah, come on y'all!
So, first I did stumble across this. Which might be the slight ulterior motive that I referenced when wanting to watch this show. I do find mechanics fascinating, as in the mechanical workings of things not just men who are mechanics, and working with metal and well, it was interesting to see him fettle around with the bikes on Find It, Fix It, Flog it, so sure... why not watch this. (By the way, yes, fettle is a word I've added into my vocabulary now if you've read previous posts.)
However, I was completely unprepared for mark 1:05 in the video. I was not expecting to feel... uncomfortable. Like I didn't know what I needed to do with myself. Like a 12 year old school girl who is smiling but has forgotten how to, while spying the gorgeous guy walking across the play yard... with her brain slowing it all down so she can take it all in. I'm sure my face looked beyond ridiculous in the soft, and probably awkward grin that spread across my face and how I had to avert my eyes. That man is already beyond F-I-N-E fine! But they make him zip and snap up his leathers, reach for his gear, then he's sitting on this gorgeous bike (which I'm certain that he built, which just adds to the awesomeness) just staring out at you with his lips parted ever so slightly, with this music stating that he's nothing but trouble and he'll only bring you heartache. How could I not end up as a puddle on the ground after that? I may or may not have relived that part in Shrek where Lord Farquaad rewinds the reel a couple (a lot) of times and just swoons, although I'm certain that I'm a lot more pleasing to the eyes and a lot less creepy (I hope!) He also says "fur". I've always kind of made fun of myself for saying the word for as fur instead of fohr. I thought it was a southern thing that made me sound uneducated, but he says it twice in this video. Granted it sounds a lot nicer when he says it, sort of soft in his gorgeous accent and pitch (I'm sure he's not big on talking, but he could talk to me all day long and I don't think I'd ever get tired of the way he sounds), like fuhr; whereas here it's said as FURR and bring that U down as much as you can. So, it's British in someway. Don't know if everyone says it that way or just people from a specific place or region. Can't say I've noticed it before, but it's nice that it's said elsewhere. But really cool, none-the-less But moving on to The Motorbike Show. There actually aren't that many videos that I can watch. On Netflix it's the very first ones and I did try watching that, but that first epi was just too weird. Firstly Henry Cole narrating is just odd. It's odd when Josh Gates narrates on Destination Truth/Expedition Unknown. It's so different from him just speaking normally on the show, but his narration is slightly endearing because he sounds like a muppet. Henry just sounds... I don't know. It's just odd. Like he's all poshy, but it's weird and I couldn't listen. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just really, really strange and a bit unnerving. Also unnerving was the fact that in that first epi he had no facial hair. That's fine and all except he seemed like a completely different person and that was alarming too. It was just really weird. I could get through all of that, but somehow a show about motorbikes was putting me to sleep. I was so bored. So, I tried Youtube and could only watch epi's 1 and 2 of season 7. The narration was slightly better, just so you know. The others were weird video's where it was small with dandelions blowing in the background of the larger screen and the sound was so garbled that Henry sounded like he was summoning the devil. I couldn't watch those. I was not at all bored by the two epi's of season 7 that I was able to view. Firstly because one of them had Guy Willison in it quite a bit. And I won't lie, that was nice. But the shows were interesting as well. Stripping a bike, talking about different bikes, wanting to re-do a current bike to the seventies, checking out all the engine innards, racing, even a parts swap meet which they call an Auto Jumble and isn't that just the most adorable phrase? I'm calling it that from now on. There was also talks and viewings of Harley's. As in Harley Davidson's. They're fine enough bikes. I liked Easy Rider and it wasn't for the drugs (hint: it was the bikes... and those were Harley's). But, while they're fine enough, it's all I ever really see where I live. People love them some Harley's in the deep south. It gets old. It's either that or street bikes, also garishly called crotch rockets. Oh boys... Those are fine enough too, but I like older, vintage bikes or bikes with really nice lines that just look great, which aren't modern-ish street bikes. Just today ten people drove by my house on Harley's. I watched them, as I do when bikers go by, wishing I had one and could experience that freedom, but also part of me was like, "They're just Harley's." But apparently people are ga-ga for Harley's all over the world and epi 2 was no exception. And it was slightly adorable at Henry gushing over America the way he did when he was viewing and talking about them in some shop in London. The National Anthem, as per Hendrix, played and he stated that Harley's were as American as cherry pie, which was cute because the term that Americans use is apple pie. And one was done up in the American flag and it was his favourite. Granted it might be because it was a tip to Evil Knievel, but I slightly suspect it was also just the flag. I suppose American's do the same thing with Britain. I wouldn't be surprised if the Imperial Death March or The Sex Pistols' God Save The Queen were playing and someone said whatever was as British as I don't know, bubbles and squeak and it would have British people groaning over the inaccuracies and weirdness of it all. But, I digress. I was way more interested in the bike that him and Guy Willison built, the Triumphs, the Czech bike, the New Hudson, the BSA Gold Star. Or even the Norton that they're going to re-do. I'd like to see that epi, and not merely because of Guy Willison. Those bikes are so far removed from my everyday existence that I want to know more about them. Plus, they were beautiful bikes. Not that Harley's aren't, it's just like I said, they're all I know and I'm a bit bored by them to be honest. Just hearing British people speak is always fun, because I enjoy hearing the differences. Like fur, Utahr was said; as in Utah, as in the salt flats with world racing records and that bit was interesting too. Or how him and some other guy, not named Guy... Pete? or Sammy? or... want to get this pre-1955 Triumph up to scratch to race there. Want to finish that story line as well. It was also nice seeing Majorca and knowing you could rent an older motorbike and tour. That was cool. So, I suggest the newer seasons of The Motorbike Show. I've only seen two, so I can't say with any confidence about previous seasons, but I'd stay away from what's currently on Netflix unless you want to fall asleep fast. Now I may or may not watch that video up there a couple more times and sigh and make weird happy faces. This is probably the strangest, girliest motorbike post ever written, but I'm sticking by it.
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AuthorA girl from South Mississippi who finds herself in exploration. Archives
November 2019
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