I attended this panel discussion this past Wednesday at the local library. It wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, as the information seemed minimal, but it turns out it was more informative than I first realized walking away at the end. I find knowledge important and exciting, and more so when it involves my home state or home town. I feel that it is a disgrace to live somewhere and not know anything about it. It makes me feel like a sham. I don't beat myself up for not knowing, because general knowledge isn't very forth coming, but it would feel wrong if the opportunity was presented and I said, "Nah, I'm good. I know all there is to know." My parents are this way. They don't feel the need to expand their knowledge on this state or town. Sure dad wasn't born in this state, but he's called it home for the past 60-ish years; both him and my mother have called this town home for the past 45-ish years. I personally don't understand how they can be so complacent in their lack of knowledge with those numbers under the belt; but they are. There was a lecture a few years ago about Freedom Summer 1964. "No, we lived it, we don't want to remember it." was their excuse. Yet, I poured out all the information I learned from the lecture and, as I'd guessed, they didn't really know anything about the topic at all. Yes, they lived in this state in 1964 and they heard things on the news, but they were teenagers and also not in the same towns as the events occurring. I'm sorry, but that's not enough to say, "I lived it. I know." It was kind a disgrace, my knowledge about Freedom Summer, which was handed down by teachers, my parents, and other adults; all white. The line I got was that "Northerners were coming down here when they shouldn't have. They should have minded their own business." That's it. No other explanation. Not even a mention of the three Freedom Riders who were murdered in Neshoba County. I went into that lecture with no knowledge, but the line I always received was not an answer. I wanted to know. If you aren't sure, those Freedom Riders, people from the north, were not here of their own accord. The black people in the south asked for their help. Why did they ask for help? In voting. That's right. They'd had the right to vote since 1870 (well, black men. Black women didn't gain that right until 1920), but there was extreme voter suppression from the whites, and the black people weren't allowed to register or to vote. They'd been trying to for the past 96 years. 96 years, y'all. Black men had had the right to vote for 96 years, but still weren't allowed. Women for 44 years and still not allowed to vote. That is why people were down here. They were asked here by the southern black people (mainly organized by black religious leaders and their congregations) to help them actually be able to vote. I didn't know this, because no one said why they were here and they were led to believe they were even asked here. (Apparently because it didn't "count" seeing as the white citizens hadn't asked *rolls eyes*). My parents didn't know this either. They had absolutely no idea that they came to help people to be able to vote, or even that they were asked to help. They were led to believe, by the news sources, that these people were just down here causing trouble for no reason. They did know about the Freedom Rider murders, and I was like, "Why did you withhold that information?" "It was sad, we don't like to think about it." and I believed them. I could tell they felt upset being lied to about the purpose of Freedom Summer and they felt that the purpose of it was alright after I relayed the lecture information. I could tell they also knew about and hated that those murders happened; regardless of them being told they they were merely unwanted instigators. "Yes, but you can't always leave out the bad things. History needs to be told, or you have a daughter walking around ignorant to important historical things." They saw my point in that as well. One daughter expands to hundreds of daughters, expands to thousands of people born after the fact, never having any inkling of things that occurred. It's just not right. There are things I heard in the news when I was a teenager, but unlike my parents, I realize that as a teenager, with a small pool for news source, that I couldn't fully comprehend or understand the events that happened then, so I research them now. A few things were basically how I understood them; most were not. Not all the information was there in the news reports or I hadn't lived enough to actually understand most of what was being said because I hadn't even experienced an inkling of it. My point is, there's always something to learn, even on things in which we think we know it all. Hint: We don't know it all and never will. I'm reminded of two quotes by science fiction writer & professor of biochemistry, Issac Asimov; of which I couldn't agree with more. The day you stop learning is the day you begin decaying. and People think of education as something that they can finish. I realize I'll never learn all the things, but even understanding that, it's still nice to strive to learn all the things. Of course I don't expect our learning institutions to teach us all of the things because that would be impossible, but when I find that basic things were left out of my learning I actually do get mad. It's kind of funny because I act like they should have phoned me and told me about the change. As in 'how dare they think of leaving that out... I need to know!" It makes me giggle, but it also makes me upset and not just for me. It's harmful to everyone really.
And though I can sort of see why most history concerning this state or town has been left out (ahem: it puts the white people in a very bad light - it's not right, they shouldn't do it, but I see how they would feel inclined to do so), I'm still upset that knowledge has been kept from me; from everyone here. I go to these lectures and panel discussions, I learn and then I tell everyone. But I've always felt that way. Knowledge is to be shared. Knowledge is to be known. I like things laid out completely; I don't like twisted up versions of history. So, we'll get to this panel discussion. There were two white women; history and Civil Rights professors/majors from USM. It's only important because I have seen both of them speaking at previous lectures, and one woman; a thin, blonde lady from England chose to major in the Civil Rights of the American South. Sometimes I think that's weird that someone from so far away would be interested in something as remote to them as the moon. But it's only because I'm from here. She might think it's weird if a woman from the American South majored in British History and moved over there. Because she's not that interested in it because that's who she is. Does that make sense? I think it's cool that she majored in that, but it's also weird, but not in a bad way. Though I find that it's weird that I think that it's weird. There are people who major in biology and zoology of animals halfway across the world, yet I don't think that's weird. Or languages from places halfway across the world, or their history. It's only weird because it's me basically. I suppose it's the same with wondering why someone would choose to move to Hattiesburg. "Really? You chose to move here? Why?" It's not a rare thing as I've heard that people from other places around the world want to know why someone voluntarily chose to their podunk-ville backwater too. Sadly, though I have no idea what this lady said. I can't even remember her name; Emily? Elizabeth? or am I just picking very British names here? It's because there was too much commotion going on while she was speaking, because I understood her during the last lecture I attended where she spoke. Peoples mobiles were going off, though they were told to silence them. The back door kept opening and closing, pictures on easels right beside me had to keep being moved in order to open the door to the storage room to retrieve more chairs. I just couldn't focus on her and her words seemed too sing-songy against all the other noises and I couldn't hear the words in her accent to make them formulate the correct sentences in my brain. There were two older black ladies at the end, and their bit came last, but I'll talk about it first, because the high school girls; that's more relevant to what I was currently working on. So, Doris Gaines and Reverend Carolyn Abrams were part of the last segregated graduating class here in 1968. They are co-writing a book with memories from their fellow graduating class mates titled, Class of 1968: A Thread Through Time, though I can't find any mention of it online though it was stated that it would be due out by the end of spring this year. They're purpose was to talk about Hattiesburg before integration, so they each told a story, and then to talk about the work they'd done to create their upcoming book. Gaines discussed the black section of downtown as a village, which had everything they needed; a cinema, hair dressers, grocery and others stores and her favourite memory was the Thanksgiving parade and football game. She basically could find a highlight in segregation. Not meaning that she was for it or enjoyed it, it's just that's all she knew and their village was perfectly fine to her growing up; she didn't realize things were wrong or amiss, so enjoyed what she knew. It was strange because the picture she painted was so nice and vintage and quaint, and sounded lovely. Though you know segregation is anything but lovely. And then she briefly discussed the integration of schools that was happening in the late sixties and her attendance to USM, only really made possible by the efforts of Clyde Kennard, but none of this was gone into much detail and her story only lasted about two or three minutes. Reverend Abrams was kind of upset that it was mentioned that she was Stacy Abrams' mom. Because her discussion in the panel wasn't to do with her one of many children. I could see her point. But, how could I not politely clap when everyone else clapped vigorously (some even standing up) when her daughter was mentioned. In the south, that's rude. I don't really stay into politics much, like some people who hang on every word and read every article. I really didn't know who Stacy Abrams was, though the name sounded slightly familiar and I was thinking, 'I think this is the lady (formerly from Hattiesburg as it was stated - she's actually not) who did something with the Presidents' recent State of the Union address?' I was correct that this was her, though I'm still not sure if she opened or did some rebuttling or what, because I didn't watch it. But, with Reverend Abrams' story, as soon as she was done with college she left Hattiesburg and didn't live here again, so technically her daughter wouldn't be from Hattiesburg like the local news was touting. So now I'm upset that Hattiesburg was trying to claim some woman who never lived here. You can't just start claiming people that you want, Hattiesburg, that's now how that works. You can't do that logically! Anyways, Abrams' story was far less quaint. Her focus was mainly on the strong black women in her life leading her to the person she is today. She talked about having to walk kind of far to reach school (Eureka School), passing a white school on her way, which never made sense to her. They were really poor, her mom left, and she dropped out of school in the fourth grade because she didn't have money for school supplies or lunch and also it was shameful for her to have parents that had split up. Her neighbour convinced her to go back to school and to the church, and she just needed that direction while she was directionless, and so she went back. She had to take multiple jobs just to afford public school, which I found crazy, but then I had to think that yeah, it does actually cost money to go to a public school. By then the public bus would shuttle kids to school, but of course the black people had to sit in the back; but it was a quarter, which she didn't have. She almost dropped out again (because some of her jobs she didn't have anymore and she wouldn't have been able to walk all the way to the junior high), but a cousin gave her a job helping with laundry and such, so she could then afford to bus fare. She went to a Tugaloo (an all black college) the first year after graduating, but came back and went to William Carey here in Hattiesburg because that was then allowed. As soon as she was done she left Mississippi and didn't look back. I would like to read their book, perhaps in the future I'll see it mentioned online (some person names here might not be spelled correctly because they were just thrown out quickly and they weren't printed on a sheet or anything), or it'll be a Christmas miracle and our library will obtain a copy without me having to ask. So, now onto the high school seniors; Erin Eakman and Madison Kathy (again, the spellings could be incorrect here). I'm not exactly sure what they're doing as it was difficult to concentrate that night so they're intro was hit and miss with me. I do know they are working on a project (that was started in 2016) about oral histories. I'm unsure if it's in conjunction with USM or not. The Hattiesburg High School students three years ago started this project and Eakman and Kathy and now the leaders of that group, continuing the work, which I suppose will still continue after they graduate. The oral histories are interviewing the black community on life in Hattiesburg during segregation, after integration, and focuses now on re-segregation of schools (so I'm assuming the oral histories coincide with the histories of the school system here). The things they were talking about I had been thinking about for awhile, and most of my life, in fact. Bits and pieces here and there, things that should form a story, but weren't forming in my mind. Plus, with some research I'd just been doing days before. They started with saying the term re-segregation in particular to the Hattiesburg Public School system and things started dinging in my brain. "Ding, ding, ding!!" "This is it! This is the point of all your rambling thoughts!!" I don't know of anyone who wants to say anything close to "re-segregation" but I was always wondering why Hattiesburg High (or most of the elementary's too) were becoming more and more black. Two and two wasn't equaling four and I knew there was something I was missing though I had the information. The information is "White Flight Schools" which I'd never heard the term before, but as soon as they said it, I knew exactly what it meant and all the information in my brain started coming together. It was finding the lines to finally come together, along with new information. So, schools integrated in 1954 with Brown v The Board of Education of Topeka. However, in southern states the white people just said, "No, I don't think so." and continued with segregation. This I did know. So, starting in 1964, a full ten years after integrated schools, Hattiesburg decides to start integration. Blair was the white high school and Rowan was the black high school. Now, Hattiesburg High just has (or did have) The Blair Center (sports? theatre?) and Rowan is an elementary school. The elementary's were integrated first, then the junior highs, and finally the high schools in 1968. It also wasn't highly pursued. White people did not go to black schools and the white people didn't start bussing all the black kids to the white schools. I never knew how it happened so possibilities of scenarios always ran through my mind. No, so what happened here is that the families of the black schools would decided, and these were mostly Reverends saying they needed to make the first move/set a good example amongst the members of their congregations, so they sent their children first. It wasn't a rapid integration, kind of slow lasting four - six years. Then comes in White Flight Schools next in the topic. Obviously white people didn't want their children to be in school with black children, so they created schools for them to go to, or else moved so they could attend other schools that were predominantly white. This happened all over the south, and those White Flight Schools are still around and it's still a problem. More Dinging in my brain of things connecting. But, first, so these girls had stated that integration was slow, but then was about equal for awhile; however Hattiesburg public schools are now 97% black, so now there is re-segregation. Which is what got us onto the topic of re-segregation and White Flight Schools. So, here's my story and why I'd had all these questions and why things were suddenly dinging. So, my parents aren't from here originally, but moved here about 1973. They lived in Hattiesburg, the city limits I mean. They first lived in a trailer and then a house after The Sister was born. My parents had no problems living in Hattiesburg nor sending their kid through the public school system, in fact, The Sister was super excited that she'd eventually go to Grace Christian, which was just up the road and she could walk to it. But then I was on the way, the house was already too small, so they started looking for homes. They looked at a lot of homes, but settled on this one, which is in Lamar County, not in the Hattiesburg City Limits or the Public School District. I would find out that a lot of realtors and people in general were nudging people this way during that time, because "Oak Grove School System was better (read: white), but while that might have got my parents thinking, 'Well, we do want a good school system...', they were not opposed to Hattiesburg and that wasn't the reason they chose this house. It seems like a faerie story, but it's true. They chose this house because it was huge, practically brand new, and it was super cheap... because it was haunted. I don't know if it was haunted, but the owner was insisting realtors say it if someone asked why it was so cheap, because the owner's wife (in charge of the sale) believed the house was cursed. No one would stay in it and it'd had three people since the original owners by the time my parents looked at it. The owner had had a heart attack, another person fell down the stairs, apparently that was enough for the wife to be all, "tell them about the house! I can't sell it unless people know!" I believe the story because it's one my parents always told ever since I was little, like "those people were so stupid for thinking the house was haunted, but our gain!" They'd tell everyone! My parents aren't the type of people to make up grandious stories to cover something up. If they want something covered up, the topic is evasive at best, but generally mum's the word. They'd even drive us around town and say, "we almost got this house" or "we looked at this house." "this would've been your school." If a house larger than any my parents looked at in their price range; cheaper than their price range hadn't of shown up, we'd have settled in Hattiesburg proper and been part of the Hattiesburg Public School system. This whole tour thing wasn't unheard of with them because they'd tour Laurel and showed where dad had lived (four different houses), the schools they'd attended, the tree their carved their initials and a heart in; or on trips to Arkansas, dad would tour us around old relative homes. They loved doing this. Perhaps this is one reason why I never started out hating on the Hattiesburg School System. I wanted to know more about it, because I'd almost gone there. Oak Grove was a poor school. It was a country school. It was predominantly white, but also really poor when I was a kid. The Sister actually remembers Hattiesburg High being about equal between white and black students and that most of the white kids were super rich. A friend of hers, their family had had so much money, lived in Hattiesburg and their kids went through that school system. Then they lost all of their money and moved to Oak Grove. The son could stay and graduate because he only had one more year, but the two daughters (one I was friendly with, a little older than me), the older one was The Sisters' age and they became Super BFF's. Hattiesburg had secret societies of wealthy white kids, the school had all the money. Oak Grove was a fine enough school, I mean I didn't know anything else, but the teachers were constantly stating how there wasn't enough money for fixes to the very old buildings, or better air conditioners, or other school needs. We were family friends with this one family. Their sons were in the Hattiesburg school system and hated it. I think it's because they were just socially inadjustable. The mom was going to have her daughter go to the private Catholic School. Then her and my mom both met this crazy Catholic lady whose older daughter went to the Presbyterrian Public School (because she was too old for Sacred Heart), but whose daughter went there, to the Catholic School, Sacred Heart. It's probably how those two mom's met because their daughters were in the same grade there. That is when my own mother was hell-bent on getting me in there. There was a long waiting list. She started trying when I was about to enter or just had entered the first grade. She finally got her wish after fourth grade. However, my mom's need wasn't white flight, because I was already coming from a predominantly white school. No, she got caught up in the religious fever. She'd attended an all girls Catholic boarding school from 10th to senior year and loved it & it was all her fathers doing and she has weird daddy issues and religion issues and follows where the wind blows. But it was at this time I started hearing what these other two mothers were saying. The crazy one was stating the Catholic Religion, but it wasn't her only motive, or else why send the older one to a Presbyterrian school. Plus her kids would just go to Oak Grove? She was just crazy, but it was, only once to my knowledge, mentioned about "the people at Hattiesburg." You can interpret that any way you want, considering the white kids there were wealthy party animals, so it fits with "that goes against my religious values", but I didn't know about the wealthy white kids. I didn't know what kids went to Hattiesburg until I heard the other mom talking. Then I knew that black people went there, so I assumed that's what the crazy religious mom was referring to as well. The black kids were picking on her sons, the black kids this, the black kids that, my daughter won't be going there... those people. I've come to find out that that mom is kind of racist. I don't think she means to be, like she's not an evil, horrible person. She's actually a really sweet person who was horribly abused by her dad, who probably wasn't very nice about black people, but no one mentions that so I don't know if he's the source. Someone is the source, because someone is always the source. So, about fourth grade I knew that Hattiesburg meant black people and apparently these people didn't want their white kids there too? I thought it sounded ridiculous. There weren't many black kids at my school, but there were about twenty. There were three black girls in my Girl Scout troop. We had a family friend (and her three kids) who were black. I'd met random black people other places. It's not to say that black people can't be mean or catty or anything other races can be, but from my limited ten year knowledge, the black people I'd known (the kids, their parents, strangers, family friends) were all really swell. Way more swell than most of the white people in my life. So, I couldn't comprehend what was so bad about going to school with black people. Once I started Sacred Heart more came out. Most of the kids had started from Pre-K, but some (there was only one class per grade, containing about 20 - 25 students. So, there was only one 5th grade class and one 6th grade class & that's as high up as the school went when I attended.) There was like this club amongst the students who had come from Hattiesburg (I was the only one from Lamar County schools - though later, some of them would attend Oak Grove with me) to discuss which elementary they'd been at before and how they hated it. So, names were thrown out; Rowan, Woodley, and Hawkins. Why they didn't like it? There was no logical reason, simply, "I hated it there..." but why? I did ask, they couldn't give me a single reason. It was an automaton response of, "I hated it there..." That's it. That's all they could give me. So, I mentioned that Sacred Heart only went to 6th grade then. Those two moms put their kids in over at the private Presbyterian school, which then only went to 8th grade. After that, crazy mom's kid ended up at Oak Grove because they did live in Lamar County; the other girl went to Hattiesburg. I never heard from her whether she hated it or not, but she had difficultly adapting and socializing and had learning disorders like her brothers. Her mother stated that she hated it and she'd tried her very best to keep her out of that school for as long as possible. So, Oak Grove was poor, but in high school our school started exploding with students. "Where the hell are these people coming from?" Turns out, they were moving from Hattiesburg. New fancy gated communities started springing up and most of these kids lived there, or in the the poshier Lake Serene district, or the even more unfathomably wealthier gated community of Cane Brake. There was a whole bunch of white, wealthy kids now. And by the time of my senior year the teachers were exclaiming, "We're getting a new school!" "Wait, what...?" They were talking about 16th Section land that they always apparently owned and it's only for a school... so why hadn't one been built there before? I had questions and no answers. Those girls, what they were saying was connecting all of the dots. It was totally white flight because if just two people I knew were trying to keep their kids out of Hattiesburg because of all the "dreaded" black kids, then surely there were others feeling the same way? The huge influx of wealthy families from Hattiesburg to Oak Grove in the late 90s and BOOM suddenly there's money for a new school? Did the parents pay for it? No. The answer was that state funding was paying for the new school. Why? No one could, or would give me an answer. I still don't know the exact reason, but I do know that it stems from more wealthy, white people in the school system, which is also the reason that the Hattiesburg school system isn't receiving much funding anymore. I don't know if they do an actual count of colour or if it's based on money paid in taxes, but it is true that poorer schools are predominantly not white and are always receiving less funding. Then I started thinking about White Flight Schools, other than Oak Grove. I'm not certain what the context covers. Schools where white people want to funnel other white people or schools set up directly in relation to funnel white people. I was thinking it was the latter. But possibly it's merely related to the mentality of white flight within the school system. It could encompass both meanings. So while the public Oak Grove and private Sacred Heart were (and still are) used as tools to "get away from the black people", they were schools long before integration. However, there were schools cropping up probably because of a direct result of integration. I was working on a travel guide for Hattiesburg, with information on living or visiting here. I'm not sure why I started working on it, I was just drawn to work on it. I didn't expect to learn anything from my research, but I did. It was the fact that there were way more private schools than I thought; that private schools are ridiculously priced, and that "seriously this one started in the 60's?" I remembered that particular one that was started in the 1960s; I believed it was 1962, which was the year they were starting to think about integration here in Hattiesburg. Looking again and it was 1962; Central Baptist School. Interesting coincidence? Possibly. But it is strange, none-the-less. I decided to look at the other, major private school that I knew of, the one that's been around for awhile; PCS - Presbyterian Christian School. Started only about five years after integration was complete in 1975. These aren't the only private schools to crop up, all of them except one is religious. There is Grace Community (different from Grace Christian) & their mascot is a whale, they don't tell me when they started. Benedict Day School which started in 2008. Lamar Christian out in Purvis, they also don't tell me when they started, but I'm betting it was during the nineties or later. And the only non religious one, South New Summit School (which also has the highest tuition) was started in 1997. All of them have one thing in common - the all tout a "safe" environment for the children. I'm sorry but where are the unsafe stories from either public school system; Oak Grove or Hattiesburg? The children getting shot up, hooked on drugs, extreme bullying, suicides, child molestation, rapes, or whatever else would constitute as an unsafe environment? Answer: there aren't those news stories. I couldn't tell you what bullying is like in the Hattiesburg public school system, and I can't tell you what it's like in recent years at either Sacred Heart of Oak Grove, but I can tell you what bullying was like in the 80's and 90's at both of these schools. At Oak Grove, yes I was bullied, in all grades except Kindergarten, I can't recall being bullied then. From grades K - 4 while attending Oak Grove Elementary, most anything that was said (because there was no physical bullying) was mild. Mostly I found it an annoyance and none of it was really very harmful. From 7th - 12th, things escalated at Oak Grove Middle School and Oak Grove High School. The bullying or taunting was more than in elementary school. I found it annoying or amusing or mildly benign. If someone kept pushing my buttons I gave them two weeks where I would calmly tell them to leave me alone. If they didn't, I beat them up, was called into the Principles Office and was then not reprimanded because I was being bullied. I didn't bully them. Would I have found the bullying so far beneath me had I not attended Sacred Heart during grades 5 & 6? I'm unsure. Things were very bad at Sacred Heart. Things did upset me sometimes in middle or high school, but none of it compared to the treatment I received at the private school, so I knew I could survive it; it might even be why I laughed so much of it off. "Really bitches? This all you got? Please..." I still can't go into detail, though really on a scale the treatment wasn't anything truly monsterous or horrendous. I wasn't raped or molested; things were not put into bodily orifaces or anything like that, though there was physical bullying (pushed, shoved, punched, kicked - especially the one where they'd pull your pants down and then push you over). And the verbal abuse and just all around mental fuckery weren't in any public school kids dizziest daydreams. These kids were ruthless and I was the piñata. It was so ruthless and haunting that I developed nervous ticks to over come the abuse. OCD behaviour to gain control of things, but it only left me spiraling further and further out because these ticks became so bad they weren't a way of control as the end was always outside of my reach. It's like the person who has to lock and unlock their door twenty times. Only I was checking that my shirt sleeves were even, so kept looking from side to side. But there was no set number and I was so frazzled that there was no end to the checking. There were others. I'd push on my stomach a certain number of times, but that too was beyond my grasp and I was simply falling apart at the seams. I cried a lot. It was the absolute worst two years of my life and if a general guideline for a public school can be made for a small town in Mississippi then I'm pretty sure that Hattiesburg was about the same as Oak Grove in terms of people and that if any bullying was done (I don't know for certain, but I'm sure there was) that it was pretty on par for general benign bullying that was done at Oak Grove. There was no reason that bullying was so unsafe that these people felt they needed to shove their kids in to a private school filled with sadistic children. In fact the only people who were nice and friendly to me were the two black girls who also attended Sacred Heart (but were in grades lower than me). Even the girl I was friends with, that family friend whose mom wanted to keep her out of the Hattiesburg Public Schools, distanced herself from me. She wasn't mean to me, but if there was a time that our grades were co-mingling, she acted like she didn't know me. The only personal experience I have with Hattiesburg public schools is Hattiesburg High School and it's scant. Apparently they were our rivals in theatre and are who we wanted to beat at Drama Fest. It was mainly white kids in their theatre department I think. I wasn't really certain as there were lots of schools there and I thought rivalry was stupid to begin with, so I did take notice of which groups were who. The Sister says that their theatre group and ours got better at about the same time. Mid 1980s. That's probably why we were rivals. A girl she is still friends with went to HHS and was in the theatre department the same time that The Sister was at Oak Grove in that theatre department. They didn't become friends or really even meet until their first year at USM. Then there's the stint I did of summer school. It was at HHS. All the teachers were HHS teachers and the one's that I saw were all black and were all really swell. I didn't meet all the teachers, but there were reasons to go to other classrooms on teacher errands (I don't know why) & you saw them milling about before summer school started in the morning or during our break & they all seemed nice to me. I was in there for math. My teacher was a black lady. I was on the second floor. At one point she sent me on an errand to see the summer school English teacher, another black lady. She was nice too. Then came a time when we're really finished making up math and we could just do whatever. I was big into tarot cards and runes. As in this is a really fun game and way to waste time. I brought my rune set to summer school and was giving readings to the class friends I'd made, when my teacher called me up to her desk curious what I was doing. She was fascinated. "Ooh, do me! I wanna know!" So, I gave my teacher a reading. Now, it must be said that there were only two black teachers at Oak Grove. One, a geography teacher for 9th grade, a woman and the baseball coach, a man. I didn't play sports so I didn't have him as a coach or teacher, but I had the woman & she was super pregnant and not very nice, but I did chalk it up to her being pregnant. A friend of mine and I skipped school one day & walked up to the corner store to get a snack and just be away from school. We were incidentally skipping Mrs. Geography's class at that moment. A cop walked in and sat down to talk with us. It seems silly and stupid, but my friend was afraid because we were skipping and it was a cop. I wasn't afraid. Why? Because it wasn't a scary fat white cop but a black cop. It's probably stupid to be complacent in the fact that generally I get along swimmingly with black people, better than my own white race or that white cops have treated me like a disease, which upon further research is pretty much how they treat people of colour and people who aren't straight and or Christian. We weren't in trouble and I don't know if it's because I didn't treat him like a cop, but just a person, or what. He did say that we shouldn't cut school and should probably go back, but we weren't forcibly being taken back to school or anything. He was nice and didn't have an air about him of being mean of superior like the "good ole boy" white cops in Lamar County, so I was relaxed with him and said, "Oh, but we had to skip. Right now it's geography and Mrs. _________ is our teacher. She's super pregnant and I think that makes her super fussy. Plus it's super hot & that can't be helpful." He looked like he wanted to laugh but didn't, and my friend was very scared trying to get my attention. I turned to her, "What?!" "He.... he's... Mrs. ___________'s husband...." Oops. How did she know that? I didn't know it was her husband. Apparently my friend had had a run-in with him before or perhaps saw the two of them out shopping. Because really how did she know? Had he caught her there before, skipping class, and she was rude to him? Was she scared because he was black or because the altercation hadn't turned out well for her because she was rude? I don't know. It's possible, because thinking on it she didn't interact with the black kids at our school like I did and to my knowledge she still doesn't have black friends or think one way or the other about them. I looked at him and he gave me a look that said Yep, it's true. "I'm so sorry. I like her, but she is fussy and I think that's why. I just needed a break from that class, but I didn't mean any disrespect." "It's OK, she can be a little... well, because she's pregn.... well y'all should go back to school." You could tell he loved his wife and she's probably really swell without the added hormones and stress of being near to bursting in 90 degree temps, having to teach 9th graders; and she's probably trying to him as well at times. He wanted to agree, but also not say anything negative about his wife. I liked him. He was really cool. Wish I'd known his wife when she wasn't pregnant. It was the most enjoyable experience with a cop that I've ever had. Which is a weird point all its own, but the main point was that Mrs. Geography would have been in no mood for runes or Tarot cards being that pregnant, if that was something she was interested in anyways. All the other teachers, white, had absolutely no interest in this sort of thing at my school is where I'm going with this. So, because this summer school teacher was so interested I gave her a reading which was unheard of; me giving a reading to any adult. She loved it so much that she said, "You have to go see my sister! She's in room blahblahblah." "You want me to go right now?" "Yes, yes! She'll love it. Tell her I sent you to give her a reading." Awkward! So, I went downstairs to her sisters class and told her why I was there. She was excited. Her students were in the room busy reading stuff for class, but I was to give her a Rune Reading right there at her desk, which is the reason I met another HHS teacher. Though it was weird because adults hadn't been interested before or since, and it was weird because her students were in there too, it was alright and she was really nice. I didn't experience any meanness, bullying, negativity, etc from any of those twenty black teachers who were teachers in the Hattiesburg public school system. Though I was only there for one month and only immediately interacted with three of them, it was actually a pretty nice experience (though I didn't want to be in summer school in the first place). I also didn't feel like my knowledge in math was any less than. I actually understood better, the algebra I was learning in summer school than the entire year of it from our crazy white teacher at Oak Grove. There was also creativity, which helps me learn, so we had to re-do a board game where the rules were algebra. My team and I aced it, when algebra before was an alien language. So, there's strike 1 pertaining to mean teachers and strike two pertaining to incompetent teachers. Perhaps there are mean or incompetent teachers in the Hattiesburg public school system (there were these teachers at Oak Grove after all and at Sacred Heart), but I'm inclined to think that it's not nearly as many as the white people will lead you to believe. Which also leads me to gentrification. I honestly thought this was a made up word that Lillian spouts out in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. But in fact is a real thing. How did I find out? I've been listening to this podcast called Science VS by Gimmlet Media (there's another Science Vs, but it's not that one). I keep scrolling down the list choosing one to listen to based on what seems fascinating to me that day. The day after this panel discussion I saw "Gentrification" "What? I thought that was made up! Well, I have to listen to this one now." So, the show covers any and all topics and sees if science is there to back it up. Gentrification started in New York City and is where wealthier people were moving into non wealthier neighbourhoods and basically fancying it up; making it too expensive for the original people to live and shop there; also calling the cops on the original people. So, the show was seeing what of this was true or not. Most of it can't be explained (like the calling the cops on people, there's no data to suggest one way or the other if it's original people calling about original people or the new people or vice versa - the frequency of calls also hasn't escalated since Gentrification hit that neighbourhood." But basically the thing that stood out to me was about the schools. They have the data on it and they found that the wealthy, white people are moving into these neighbourhoods, yet sending their kids to "better" schools; that is not enrolling them in the school that's in that neighbourhood. So, these kids are going to the predominantly white public school somewhere else in the city or else to a predominantly white private school somewhere in the city. The neighbourhood school is still full of people of colour who aren't wealthy and they still see no state funds for their school. That right there, that's what those two girls were talking about at the panel discussion and is what is still happening here in Hattiesburg. One could even say that Gentrification is actually happening here in downtown. Wealthy white people are moving to midtown and Hattiesburg, building up the downtown area with shops and events and festivals, yet no one with out lots of money can actually live downtown now. They fix it up and you can't afford it. Same thing they said on the podcast that they proved was true. Yet, I keep hearing about all these people who are living in and building up downtown to a wealthy, white standard, who send there kids to private school. It's not a lot that I've heard this, but there are three instances now. So, first it was this woman The Sister knows; had known since university. Big into making downtown great, sent her kid to Sacred Heart. He's since graduated a year or so ago. There was this family who lived next to us when I was growing up. The oldest daughter (she's in her 50s now, both daughters were older than us), wanted someone to pick her kid up from school and drive her to her after school volunteer work. I took the job. She went to a Hattiesburg public middle school. Seemed OK to me, except that it was weird because it was new and built like a fortress. It was a circular building with a gate and all the classrooms opened onto an interior courtyard. I wouldn't have wanted to go there simply because it seemed like a prison. But then the new Oak Grove High School was built this way too. Eh... Anyways. After several months my services were no longer needed because the mother decided she didn't want her child in Hattiesburg anymore (I don't know why) and sent her to the private TIDE School (later called South New Summit School - the non religious one with the highest price tag). Now seeing the price I'm wondering how in the hell she could even afford to send her daughter there. Perhaps the tuition wasn't as high when it was still TIDE School? Her daughter has since graduated and it's only this new school as of a year or two ago. Now, she wasn't my child and we only spent like ten minutes together Monday - Friday for about 4 or 5 months, however on most days when I was sitting in my car in the queue and would see her come out she was happy and chatting with people; black and white students. On perhaps 6 days she came out unhappy. That's a whole lot more happy days than unhappy days, so was there really a problem? Of course I came home and told everything to my parents and The Sister. I even expanded the talk with The Sister on the Gentrification episode I'd just listened to. She had a realization. Where she works, one of the lady who owns it sends her kids all the way to a private school in Sumrall or Purvis (The Sister wasn't sure where, just rather far from their home inside Hattiesburg City Limits). "Holy shit, Sarah, you're right!" is what she exclaimed after she realized that. Like the information I'd learned on my own coupled with the information I learned from those senior girls were connecting all the dots in her brain too. I'd needed those girls to help connect my dots in order to even help The Sister. I'm not even sure why it's so important. I say this because I don't really know the people who are actively not sending their kids to Hattiesburg. I, myself, have no children (& I don't plan to have children), though you can be sure they would not be going to a private school. I really don't have any actual first hand knowledge of the Hattiesburg School System, nor do I know of a way to actually obtain that. So, how can I really help? They did say at the lecture panel to the audience, "Tell people that Hattiesburg Schools are great!" But, I can't honestly do that. I have nothing to base it on. It would be a lie to state something is great when I don't know the first thing about it. If someone were to say to me "Tell people that Oak Grove Schools are great!", I couldn't do that. I don't know anything about Oak Grove schools now. I can tell them how it was when I was there, but I do believe that's an entirely different experience. I couldn't and wouldn't state that Oak Grove is great, because I've had nothing to do with that school for the past twenty years. I graduated, I didn't work there, nor send a kid there, so I have twenty years of no knowledge. It would be a lie for me to make that statement. I can, however, write this blog post in the format in which I have done. I have given my own school experiences from 1985 - 1998 at two different schools; both of which have changed dramatically since I was in attendance there; as well as the short summer school experience at HHS. I can include the weird things said about the Hattiesburg School system and how two and two were not equalling four and so always made me wonder. I can paint this picture for you, lay out all that I know to be certain or true. I can absolutely ascertain that White Flight in Schools is true and has happened and still happens. I can tell you of the people who continue to refuse to send their kids to Hattiesburg though they can give no exact reason why and only hint that it's because of black people, without ever really saying it. What I can't do though, is tell you exactly what it was like for me to attend Hattiesburg Schools or what Hattiesburg Schools are like today, just as I can't tell you exactly what it's like at Oak Grove Schools today. I can also say that during the Lecture Panel a lady from the audience chimed in with since the 1970s realtors and people would tell anyone looking for a home here, either newly moved here or simply wanting to find a new place "Go to Oak Grove. It's the better school system. Go to Oak Grove." Everyone seemed to agree with this statement. I have no first hand knowledge or this and there was no other supporting evidence to this statement, but I am inclined to believe it. First, my parents were told that Oak Grove had the better school district when searching for this house, that's not why they chose the house, but they were told that. It did give them something to think about, though it didn't necessarily sway them. Second, all the kids showing up at my school in high school. From their own mouths they were either new to the state or area or came from Hattiesburg. Them telling me where they lived told me they were wealthy. There were 500 people in my graduating class. The last time I'd checked (like our year book) we had about 150 people in our class in 8th &/or 9th grade. There were 900 students enrolled in the entirety of the high school at the end of the school year in May of 1999. It blew my mind. I specifically remember that. There is too much to go into, but I was forced to graduate early because my mother wanted me to start university quickly. I didn't not want to graduate early. But I was done with school on 18 December 1998. I did get a diploma and did actually graduate, but I was barred from attending prom or in the graduation ceremony. I went anyway. I stood in the enourmous Reed Greene Colusium at USM (where all graduations take place for any school here) and marvelled that it was so full. I was at the very top watching my class graduate, listening to the valadictorian speak (a friendly acquaintance of mine) & became verklempt because I'd missed out on the second half of school and was missing out on this. Then they stated how our high school had grown to 900 and our graduating class was 500." I stopped being verklempt and became confused. Then I looked out across the audience, down into the bottom of the coliseum to my graduating class. 'That certainly looks like a lot more than 150 or so.' It was so difficult for me to fathom that we had that many people in our graduating class, but there they were filling the floor of the coliseum, a sea of black and gold, most of the people I didn't even really know, hadn't been in classes with for most of my education. Or the fact that suddenly, now with this huge influx of white, wealthy families with their white, wealthy kids in the Oak Grove system were we now granted funds for a new school. I've heard probably five people in my entire life say that Oak Grove is an excellent school, or a school better than most. Most of those were teachers at Oak Grove simply saying it to their students. So, I don't have a lot of knowledge on random people saying it to get people to move there to be able to enroll their children into that system. But it did happen, regardless of whatever reason. Our school was inundated by wealthy, white kids and we got a new school out of it. I never attended it, but I did visit it with a friend and former class mate the year they first opened, because we were curious about it. I also remember everyone pretty much being poor or lower middle class for most of my time at Oak Grove. No one was really picked on because of their clothes because everyone looked a mess really. But come high school people started getting brand new cars (like Toyota's or BMW's) to drive in 10th grade or were in expensive brand clothes and making the other kids feel bad about what they were wearing. I was driving, like everyone else who inherited a car, a hand-me-down. First it was dad's red 1971 International Tuck. Oh, I loved driving that, but I got a lot flack for it, because it was seen as ugly, except by my fellow theatre kids because I had the means to help move sets. Later, I inherited my mom's 1991 Ford Taurus, which I despised. I hated everything about that car, but for different reasons than most students who simply felt it wasn't new enough. But the bullying about looks, we hadn't had that before really. Also, the families who had always lived in Oak Grove and were the reason the school existed in the first place were being singled out and picked on. And all I could think is that you can't pick on the Yawns or the Yates or the Andersons, etc, this is their home and school. So, if Oak Grove is anything like it was by the end of my time there, there I certainly wouldn't recommend it. But, again, I have no actual idea for certain. I don't know why I gained this knowledge, as with most knowledge; though I'm glad it's finally connected all the dots and put all the pieces together and I am sharing what I actually know on the subject, but while I feel it's probably not enough, perhaps it's exactly as it needs to be within the scope of my own life.
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AuthorA girl from South Mississippi who finds herself in exploration. Archives
November 2019
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