I saw this meme today and it made me laugh. It's not because Luke Perry died, because I was a little sad about that. I suppose it's because I understand the pretend first boyfriend bit, even though Perry wasn't him, and it made me remember how I even knew who he was to begin with. This, of course, is what made me laugh. I was friends with this girl Rebekah. Though we stopped being friends in the ninth grade, because I wasn't on the same road as her (read: not cool enough), she's the reason I even know who Luke Perry is. It was true though, about the not being on the same road bit. We hadn't been for awhile; different tastes in things and one is the story I'm about to tell.
When we were about twelve she was really big into Beverly Hills 90210, as most girls my age were. I'd heard the name, but I wasn't interested in watching it in the slightest. The only episode I ever watched was because she insisted I watch it while I was at her house one time. I also had to participate in the Team Edward vs Team Jacob of the day. She pulled images from her myriad of 90210 merchandise and said, "Choose. You have to choose one." She was forcing me to choose my guy; Jason Priestly or Luke Perry. I know she gave their character names, but I can't remember those. If you're unfamiliar with this game of Pretend Boyfriend (because you weren't once a 12 year old girl, or were living under a rock), I'll explain. In this game, in girl land, there are really no correct answers. It's a loaded question. Your friend won't tell you who she likes (generally) until after you've chosen. This could pertain to any number of guys. Just the two "sexy" one's from Beverly Hills 90210, to all three guys in Saved by the Bell, to all five members of the boyband New Kids on the Block. You don't know who your friend likes, but you must choose, and only one, and you'll be shackled with him until that pop culture thing has fallen out of fashion. So choose wisely, basically. If you pick her guy, she'll at first be pleased because you chose the only one that's worth liking (according to her) and y'all are super besties. But in two seconds she'll be upset because now she has to be on her guard so you won't steal him away from you. (No, I'm absolutely seriously). If you don't choose her guy, she'll immediately be upset, because this is a slight towards him (& ultimately herself apparently), but then she'll be happy because y'all won't be fighting over the same guy. You think that by choosing someone who isn't her guy is the clear winner of an answer, oh-ho, but there's more. So, her guy is safe from you, but you aren't safe from her ridicule over picking the other guy and any chance she wants she'll basically tell you that you're stupid for choosing that one. There were also little groups. If some girl mentioned her guy from whatever thing had been chosen and it matched your guy, you both got excited and formed a little club; perhaps other girls would strike up and say, "me too!" and end up joining. But you still had the same outcome because now there was this group of girls all united in the same guy but bickering because who would get him when the time came that they would actually meet said guy. Because said guy would most certainly fall in love with immediately, and sweep her off her feet to a land of wedded bliss, the girl who loved him. But now, who would that be? See? There's no winning at that game. Plus the whole love thing was weird too. I did end up playing, because you sort of have to, but I found it all a little weird. Say for Saved by the Bell and New Kids on the Block, I already liked those things and thought, sure, I can go along with this. My choices were Zack Morris and Jordan Knight. I liked the show, I liked the band, it seems like simple girl logic to choose who you think is cutest. This is not what I found weird. What I found weird was the sheer ferocity over these choices. And I never piped up with who I liked to form smaller clubs of sameness, because who cares? So, you get ragged on by your friend because they <3 Joey Mackentire and not Jordan Knight. But don't ever even think of thinking about or mentioning that you might think that Joey was cute. Your friend turned into some little monster with teeth baring, "Joey Mackentire is MINE!!!" with a snarl at the end. (I don't even care enough to figure out if that's how his name is spelled or not, just like I can't care less to search what their character names were from Beverly Hills 90210). So as far as The Pretend Boyfriend game went, I didn't mind looking at Zack Morris with hearts for eyes while watching Saved by the Bell or listing him in the Husband section in games of M.A.S.H. and that's as far as it ever went for me. I just didn't understand all the intensity or passion wrapped up in older people we didn't know. And perhaps I'm the only girl to be so odd, but there it is. .0 So, back to choosing between Jason Priestly and Luke Perry all those years ago at her house. I stood there for a few minutes unsure why this was happening. I finally decided that I'd choose this guy on the right, which happened to be Luke Perry. She was slightly affronted at first because how dare I not like the same guy she did, but then it was OK because I wouldn't end up stealing her man, Jason Priestly, away from her. See? They're both bad answers with only one being slightly a good answer. Why is it only slightly a good answer? Because in the end though her guy is safe, she won't forget to nudge you that you chose the wrong guy because her guy is the only one that counts. So, while I had made a choice and she was resolute in the fact that I'd chosen and couldn't choose differently now; that [insert character name here, aka Luke Perry] was my guy. Yay! Small celebration for you, Sarah! I really could have cared less. The only reason I ended up watching the film, 8 Seconds was because I was in the video rental section of Rose's (it was local, cheap, sort of 5 & Dime store that opened in the 1970's) and I saw the cover and thought the name and face of the actor seemed familiar. "I'm pretty sure that's that guy..." were my thoughts and by that guy I meant Luke Perry. So, I rented it. As a thirteen year old I thought it was pretty OK. Then over the years he'd pop up in things and he seemed like he was a pretty OK guy, so when my dad told me yesterday about his death I was a little sad. Actually the conversation went like this, "Do you know Luke Perry?" he called up the stairs. "I know of him, yes." "Well, he died today... stroke." It just seemed weird that he'd died. Far from the obvious reasons that he wasn't very old and well it's just sad in general. No, for me, it's because he was a part of my later childhood, for reasons not even of my own doing, and I suppose that's what makes it weird. He's a tie to that age and though that age has been gone for twenty six years now, it's all hitting me how long ago that really was.
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AuthorA girl from South Mississippi who finds herself in exploration. Archives
November 2019
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