This made me laugh when I saw it today. You might be wondering why? Because I am the bearer of Thunder Thighs and apparently a very un-smart Thor would highly approve. It's hilarious! OK, it probably isn't hilarious, but it's still pretty amusing, to me. Am I going to sit here and talk about Thunder Thighs in this post? Not really, but they do have a minor starring role. See, I've finally gotten that new swim suit I talked about previously! And as a fat girl I'm gonna show it off with pride. First though, I've written other posts at my old account that go with this one. I won't incorporate them into the story because who has time for that? Swimsuit Ready, Love Yourself, or Body Shaming/Body Image, just pick your poison... or all three! The first two are mostly about swimming, swimsuits, and body image pertaining to being Swimsuit/Beach Body Ready, plus there's photos of me in swimsuits since I was a kid, because you know that's fun! But, the photo's also help bridge the gap between me then, in a swimsuit, and me now. You can see the relative sameness. The last is just about body image and body shaming. So, let's get started. If you looked through or read either of those first two linked posts, then you'll know what my old swimsuit looked like. And how I kept saying that I was a rather modest person. Apparently I'm just a Disney early 60's type of modest gal. Ya know, like how girls couldn't show their navels because it was scandelous? This new suit shows a lot more skin than my last one. Perhaps not really a lot, but it does show more. Parts of skin that have probably never seen the sun ever and they'll blind you with their glaring whiteness! And I'm OK with this. It's a lot easier to actually swim in this suit than previous suits (well, not the diving/racer suit that one was glorious) and the navel coverage isn't because its scandelous, but I really don't want to show that much skin as that makes me uncomfortable, plus, it's physically uncomfortable when clothing hits at my navel, and if it hits lower than that it just falls down. So, I got myself a fatkini or modest larger girl two piece. The Sister is funny. She always wants me to take *pretty* pictures. Pictures where I look glamorous, sexy, or something else that I don't know how to do. I always just want to take funny pictures or ones that show what I really look like (so not posing or sucking in or something strange). Plus, I don't know how to human so I don't know how to pose for photographs. I never really did. And apparently "put your leg out like it's sexy" doesn't really work either. No, no, I really am laughing over that statement and these photos of me being "sexy". So, yes, there are my Thunder Thighs, apparently Thor approved, in their minor starring role. I mean, they are my legs after all, so while I may not always show them off, they are somewhat stars of this body. They're part of the reason on how I can move heavy objects or hike up mountains or swim for that matter. It is sort of difficult for me to look at this photo and imagine how this could elicit a sexiness vibe. How anyone could look at it and think, "Damn! That girl is fine! I want that!" for one that makes me laugh like some twelve year old to think of someone thinking that, but also well, it's just not that sexy in an of itself. No, I'm being honest. I have really fat, flabby upper arms. I have dimply thunder thighs and calves that probably Henry VIII would be jealous of and wide duck feet. And no knees like a Campbell's Soup kid. There's also some back fat which you'll see in a minute (I did have The Sister take a side and back shot) and a really large paunchy belly that looks all smooth in clothes, but is really quite rolly and does jiggle like Santa Claus' is supposed to with no real distinctive waist. Oh and a great big double chin to boot! I know there are those people (some gay guys and women) out there who would pipe up with, "No! You're beautiful! You look fabulous and radiant!" Which never set well with me. First of all, I never said that I didn't look fabulous. Secondly, I'm just stating clear facts. Anyone with eyes or proper corrective lenses can see that everything I said is accurate and true. It's also true that society, in general, in the United States, think that my body is gross and very un fabulous. That sounds slightly narcisistic when I say my body is fabulous. Obviously I don't think that I'm gross or hideous, but I'm well aware that I'm not societies cup of tea either. I'm too much. Too much of everything, including knowledge and wonder and thoughts; in my singing voice, in my love of nature, in my imagination; there's just too much of me for anywhere in this world; and not just in excess flesh. But I'm fabulous because I'm me. It sounds stupid, but it's true. Sure I want to be a little thinner, and by a little thinner I mean a size 20 instead of a 24, because I'm quite serious that I don't want to be THIN. I really don't and I never really have if I'm honest with myself. Not being honest with myself and only want to fit in, yes, I wanted to be a tall and willowy super thin girl. But the thought always made me cringe a little. I'm not supposed to be that girl and I know it deep down in my heart. But, yes, so I would like to be a little thinner so that my arms aren't as waggly and that paunch were slightly smaller and not so flabby, and my double chin was smaller... and then we'll be good. But back to being fabulous... my body is fabulous in a non egotistical way. I can swim, walk, do yoga, run, jump, and hike. I can kneel down (those chubby knees and a lifetime of kneeling in Thunderbolt Pose apparently doesn't the knees wonders because it's my favourite sitting position), squat, stand up. I might not be able to lift heavy things with those arms that could crush a man's skull, but I can push heavy items with my butt, hips, and thighs. I'm alive. I can cuddle kittens with those arms. Though we don't get to the mountains very much anymore, I can hike them with relative ease and I do so enjoy being in the mountains. I can still enjoy rain and thunderstorms. Ya know, important things, man! I'm actually in relatively excellent health too. Yes, I'm missing a gallbladder because it was all twisted up on itself. But I don't have diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, etc. I may not have the best diet in the world (who does right, I mean honestly? We're not Elves), but I've been drinking water like a fish since my baby time and I do enjoy fruits and vegetables and salads and such. But who doesn't like chips sometimes or baked goods like cupcakes or OMG bread is so good. But I do fine and I'm good with me. I like me. Even though I'm probably a loser nerd, I think I'm pretty awesome and wonder why more people don't want to be my friend, but then they probably wouldn't make good friendship material anyways, at least not for me. So, while I might be lacking in things that seem important; more friends, a boyfriend/significant other/husband, more clothes that fit properly, apparent sexiness. I'm not really lacking in anything. Even if I were a size 20 and perfectly happy with myself, I probably still wouldn't think of myself as sexy. Sexy's as foreign to me as Flufflar (it's a food that Pufflings eat on the planet Pufflin), it's also not really important to me. I already have friends, though most live very far away. I'm grateful for the friends that I do have and The Sister being my super BFF. Clothes fitting properly or more options would be ideal, but I do have clothes and they're not bad, so really what's to complain about? Also, could I really deal with a boyfriend/significant other/husband? Guys elude me so and I don't understand them really (hell, I don't even really understand girls) and my life is pretty full right now what with kittens and swimming and house sitting and cleaning and binge watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (yes, I'm really late to that party), and reading, and everything else in between that I don't even know if that's what I want or need at the moment. If it is, I suppose one will show up in my lap (that's how that works, right? They're like stray kittens?) and then I'll know. Until then, what's to fret and fuss over? I have a body that works, it's mine, I'm glad I'm healthy and can do things I love to do; and while obviously life isn't perfect for everyone, I'm living mine the best way I know how (even though I might not know how to human properly) and I'm trying to make the most of it, and isn't that what's really important? Instead of how I look to others, isn't it more important that I work and I can do one of the things I love doing without extra encumberments like clothes because those aren't for swimming. So, y'all, if I can choose a suit I like and go swimming and act goofy and have fun then you can too! Because this isn't bravery. Though some will bandy that word about when a fat girl dares to put on a swimsuit and go out in public to swim, it isn't brave, it's just being true. I've said it a million times (seriously, did you read those other posts, because apparently I say this a lot), but nothing's going to keep me from swimming. It's beyond hot here and it's one of my all-time favourite things in the world to do. I don't have time to let people's snide remarks or facial contortions of revulsion get me down (trust me, I do deal with this). I'm going to keep swimming and look it's the perfect suit for that! And that concludes our body positive post for today because it's TIME FER SWIMMIN', BITCHEZ!!!
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AuthorA girl from South Mississippi who finds herself in exploration. Archives
November 2019
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