Eating Baskin & Robbins ice creams always reminds me of a certain friend. She's also been on my mind lately, because her birthday was a few days ago, and just prior to that she was married. The friend, who is still pretty much my friend though we haven't seen each other in about ten years, was an exchange student from Germany. We might never have met since she was being hosted by a family who was in a different school district. However, a guy we knew was dating her (never found out how they actually met, since he went to a different school as well, or so I always assumed), and he brought her into our coffee house. They broke up pretty quickly, but she kept coming in because she enjoyed the place. Much to his dismay, because he kept coming in as well.
That's how we became friends; her constant visits to the coffee house in my basement, and I was generally the one working. It was weird because the way she would talk, she hated being German and told me that I should never learn German or go to Germany. I'm not certain if she just hated things to do with her home life or if it was because American Southerners are assholes, which is a great possibility of a reason. She was constantly being harassed at school and in our coffee house for being a Nazi. People would sieg heil her too. I always put a stop to it when I saw people doing this in my home business or say anything negative to her like that (I couldn't stop it at her school, not being in that same school). Being a teenager, I wouldn't blame her feelings of hating Germany simply because of what she was having to endure here in south Mississippi. She eventually grew up to not hate Germany, I assume, because she still lives there and the man she recently married is German. But, she didn't talk much about her home life. It seemed, from the scant coded things she would say, that her parents were well-off and probably didn't spend a lot of time with their children. It's just what it seemed like from what she said, but she never really discussed her family except in rolled-eyed passing. We spent a lot of time together that one year she was here. Actually I didn't even have an entire year with her that first go around, as that guy didn't first bring her in to the coffee house until she'd already been here for six months. So, it was more like four - six months. She did understand me though, which not a lot of people do. She'd be talking, and this is just one example, and she mentioned watching Nick Jr. with her brother. "You have Nick Jr. there?!" To which she immediately replied, "Yes, and indoor plumbing, and we have electricity!" o_0 "Well, yeah, of course you have those things. I just meant, how come we don't have German stuff here? Seems unfair, as I'd want to see your stuff too." "Of course, I forget... it's you." and then in a neutral and non emotional tone she'd add, "Yes, we have Nick Jr. We also get this channel and that channel too." Then waved it away and continued her story because there was nothing to be upset over. Because apparently all the other Mississippians just thought of Germans the way Californians think of us Mississippians. On my trip to California, when I was fourteen, I had people peer over the counter to see if I was wearing shoes when they found out I was from Mississippi. They'd also ask if I had slaves or wore big crinoline dresses or if I had indoor plumbing. I actually was gobsmacked to realize that Californian's are pretty dumb when I had always imagined them to be so intelligent and with it. Whoops, wrong about that one, wasn't I? But not one of those Mississippians cared to culture share when asking questions of my friend, which is where I was coming from. In fact they simply mocked her with their questioning. I actually wanted to know more about other cultures and found it unfair that we don't get that, though it's cool and all they get our stuff over there. I was actually really sad during her going away party that June. Really sad. I think she was sad too. Not sure if it was about leaving me or just leaving in general. But she came back the following year. And that was a pretty terrible affair for her. I knew she was coming into town. She was going to stay for two weeks and hop around from friend to friend for the first week, and ending with me for the second week. I picked her up from our local regional airport and drove her to the first house on her stop. An hour after I had dropped her off, she was there knocking on my door. She'd walked there. I asked why she didn't call me to pick her up, but the hurt in her eyes told me that after calling all the other people on the list, she probably just wanted out of the first girls house. All of her friends had bailed on her. None of them wanted to see her or let her stay with them. I felt so bad for her because I would have hated for that to happen to me. I mean come on, I was the only person in this whole town who wanted to see her again? That's just terrible. That was six other girls. She said something about their loss and it was fine because she could spend all her time with me. I was OK with that. She stayed with us for a month, instead of just the two weeks. I'm not sure if she would have stayed so long, had the guy she'd been dating at the end of last year, whom she was still supposed to be dating, hadn't of broken her heart, gotten another girl pregnant, and basically told her to fuck off after she'd gotten here. She sat in the extra bedroom with the Cake version of I Will Survive on repeat. I gave her her space, but would check on her just to see if she needed anything. After two days of that, she announced we were going out. And out we went! We drove around town, stopping at this place or that; and everyday, pretty much for a month, we'd have ice cream at Baskin & Robbins and then fried mozzarella sticks at Sonic. Which is why I'm always reminded of her. I couldn't eat either item for a year after that. Even though I couldn't eat those things for awhile, it's a nice reminder of her. She came to visit again, in 2007. Her and her then boyfriend were in New Orleans and she said they couldn't be this close without visiting me, though she was also getting her Mississippi drivers license renewed, because it's a lot cheaper here than in Germany and was valid over there. I'm not sure how that's legal, but it sounded cool. But, still, she visited which was nice. She only stayed the night and part of the next day, but we stayed up all night talking. It was pretty much like old times. I think we're the type of people who are friends and just don't talk very often, but the bond is still there. I could be very wrong about that, but I think that is the way of us. Which I'm OK with. When I ever make it to Germany, I feel like she'd kill me if I didn't stop and say hi to her, which I obviously would, even if I'm sixty. I'll have to message her and tell her I'm there and we'll plan to meet up. I couldn't visit and not see her. It would feel wrong. Especially since she's visited me twice and all the things we've been through, even though we don't each other for very long.
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AuthorA girl from South Mississippi who finds herself in exploration. Archives
November 2019
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